…But At This Point, Nobody Is Injured
Or, Why Your Newsletter Is So Late This Month
By Rich Bruso
January 2007
In my defense, it seemed like a great idea at the time. While looking for struts and springs for my 1989 Taurus SHO, I happened across a parts car that, amongst other things, had the exact parts I wanted, and the whole car cost less than the struts and springs alone. A borrowed truck and trailer and one weekend later, I'd have enough spare parts to last for years!
In preparation for the trip, I installed aftermarket cruise control and a frame-mounted hitch on my father-in-law's truck and arranged for an appropriately sized trailer. Doug Miller agreed to be my copilot, a job that should have consisted of managing the CD player and ensuring I didn't fall asleep. Our target: a 9:00 A.M. Saturday launch from Sierra Vista.
So, all is well. Doug arrives just after 9:00 and we head off to retrieve the truck, which, it turns out, was the last thing that went smoothly all weekend. Now, anyone who has hauled a trailer knows that you should make sure of three things: the hitch ball is the right size for the trailer, the trailer's wiring is compatible with the truck's wiring, and the ball is at the right height for the trailer. Check, check, and check, or so I thought.
Honestly, I checked beforehand. The truck's plug had three female and one male connector, while the trailer had three male and one female. Perfect, aside from the fact that both connectors were shrouded in rubber to help keep the elements out. Net effect: though theoretically compatible, the connectors couldn't actually hook up. A quick trip to AutoZone provided a new truck connector which I spliced onto the truck in record time. Yay, we have lights. Err, light. Just the one. The other one appears to have been subject to the classic "rock and a hard place" test, and it failed. Again, AutoZone to the rescue!
Now, the interesting thing about most trailers is that the wiring actually is inside the trailer frame. As a result, if you have an issue like, say, no brake signal getting to your brand-freaking-new right taillight it's not something you'll be able to fix in the AutoZone parking lot. But, we figured, one brake light should do, right?
Thus it was we ended up rolling out of Sierra Vista at about 11:30 A.M. Okay, a wee bit behind schedule, but we'd be fine. After all, we had plenty of time to get to California and back before Tuesday. Assuming smooth sailing, we could even be in Bakersfield by dinner.
We didn't have to call the police until 1:10 P.M. A previous borrower of this trailer managed to slightly bend one loading ramp's mounting tab, so a large zip-tie was serving to keep the ramp from sliding around. It held up quite nicely until a particularly bad transition merging into traffic on I-10 just north of Tucson. Doug says, "Looks like the ramp came loose, but it's still on the trailer," but my rearview mirror (as well as various swerving cars) is telling an entirely different story. Off to the side of the road I go, where I hop out, run back along the highway, and stare, despondent, at that poor ramp.
Did I mention it was New Year's weekend traffic?
Remember the video game Frogger? A true classic, it told the story of the age old struggle between frogs and crowded roadways. And though I was good at the game, invariably my frog ended up as a greenish puddle on the road. Learning from this experience (who says video games are a waste of time?) I decide to bite the bullet and call for help. "Hello, 911, what's your emergency?" While waiting for an officer to arrive, I try, unsuccessfully, to flag down two different Sheriff's cars. Fortunately, the ramp has decided to wander onto the line between lanes, so there are far fewer semis dynamically changing the profile of the ramp.
So, the officer arrives, and she quickly and competently stops all westbound traffic so I can scurry out and grab my ramp. She then follows me along the shoulder until I reach the trailer, then pulls up alongside me. Wondering what kind of ticket I'll score out of the deal, I turn around, but she just says, "Have a good day!" and drives off.
And that is how, in only seven hours, we managed to get all the way to Marana.
Stay tuned, as the story continues next month…
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