Point / CounterPoint
By Doug Miller
December 2007
Point: A Whiteboard Is Not A Toy
By Doug Miller
I like a joke as well as the next person, but could you please stop writing non work-related messages on my whiteboard? That whiteboard is there so I can track the status of work orders. The word-of-the-day, while clever and amusing, should be posted somewhere else. Ditto for all sketches of cartoon characters and maps to local areas of interest. This is a small office and we’ll all get along better if everyone exercises some restraint and common courtesy. C’mon people, a whiteboard is not a toy.
Counterpoint: A Whiteboard’s Heart Is Not A Toy
By Whiteboard
Oh, Doug. How you’ve changed. Have you forgotten those heady days early last summer when you first arrived? You couldn’t keep your hands off of me, and I trembled at every caress. Remember that time when we stayed up all night and you shared your deepest hopes and dreams, writing them on my glossy surface with a strawberry dipped in hot fudge? Those were good times.
Of course I wasn’t designed to be written on with hot fudge and you had to go online to find an environmentally friendly cleanser. But I thrilled at your touch as you massaged it against my most sensitive, porcelain enameled areas.
It was shortly after that when I first noticed we were drifting apart. You were spending more and more time with that slut of a computer. I would wonder where you were and when you’d be back, but you had stopped leaving notes on me.
She has implants, you know. I was right here. I saw when they “upgraded” her with bigger RAM. It’s all silicon, you’ll see! A whiteboard’s heart is not a toy, dammit!
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. I just miss you terribly. I don’t understand how you can not only cast me aside, but also jealously prevent your coworkers from developing a relationship with me. It’s not fair. You’ve moved on and all I’m left with are tears.
Tiny, dry erase tears.
Copyright © 2007 Doug Miller.
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